<$BlogRSDURL$>

Dedicated to providing quality opportunities for vicarious venting about life's daily irritants...

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The death of Serious Though and Critical Cultural Appraisal in America is no more apparent than in the prolification of The List Show. What started as an interesting, albeit unoriginal, idea has grown into an all consuming monster. Any time a cable TV producer manages to loosely assemble 25-100 items under some blanket idea, they crank out another List Show. At the rate which offenders such as VH1 and E! produce these paeans to couting sorting, we are alarmingly close to spending our weeknights viewing parts one through four of The 100 Greatest List Shows of All Time.
The death of Serious Though and Critical Cultural Appraisal in America is no more apparent than in the prolification of The List Show. What started as an interesting, albeit unoriginal, idea has grown into an all consuming monster. Any time a cable TV producer manages to loosely assemble 25-100 items under some blanket idea, they crank out another List Show. At the rate which offenders such as VH1 and E! produce these paeans to couting sorting, we are alarmingly close to spending our weeknights viewing parts one through four of The 100 Greatest List Shows of All Time.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Casualty on the Homefront

The confusion, financial hardship, and despair caused by the Fiasco in Iraq had spread to U.S. soil long ago, and today this quagmire claimed the first casualty here in America. An Arizona woman, mired in grief over the death of her son in Iraq, succumbed to a "broken heart" today and died. Check out CNN for the full report.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/10/05/soldiers.mother.ap/index.html

Friday, October 01, 2004

Damn the Dish!
All Direct TV technicians are vandals. Yes, vandals. Petty thugs, wantonly destroying innocent people's property. I realize this is a harsh, rash generalization, but then again, I really don't care because the people at Direct TV have prevented me from receiving proper cable TV service on the second story of my townhome.

I purchased the two-year old townhome two months ago from a young woman who had Direct TV hooked up to only one room on the first floor of the house. When I moved in, one of my top priorities was to get a representative from Comcast out to my property to hook up basic cable service. The man did the job, and by all reasonable belief the entire house had a quality cable television signal flowing briskly through its veins. A strange thing happened, however, when I moved the two upstairs TV's in and attempted to hook them up. Both upstairs bedrooms received no signal.

After purchasing a ladder (another interesting story) to get up into the attic to try to remedy the situation myself, and failing, I contacted Comcast again. They sent an even friendlier, more helpful tech out to my house. He made several attempts, but could gain no ground. The experience ended with the tech politely calling headquarters to arrange an appointment with some installers. The installers arrived two weeks later. I began to explain the situation, and to inform them of what the previous tech had recommended. As my story neared the end, one of the installers attempted to interrupt me, but then let me proceed. I finished the story by stating that the previous owner had been a Direct TV subscriber. It was as if a lightbulb turned on above the installer's head. It seems, he informed me, that this problem was common because Direct TV techs often enjoyed vandalizing the homes of people who discontinued service. "They probably cut a wire somewhere," he told me calmly. We all shook our heads, and they went to work.

About 20 minutes later as I watched on, one of the installer's pulled a chunk of cable wire snipped neatly at both ends from the outlet hole in the wall. "Here it is," he said. "This happens all the time, man. I don't know why they do it. I mean, it makes no difference to me if we lose a customer, at least not enought to vandalize the house." As my mind began to race with different conspiracy theories regarding the violent nature of the Direct TV technicians, my two brave Comcast techs continued on.

An hour and a freshly drilled cable outlet later, the master bedroom upstairs could receive a cable signal. I was mildly satisfied, and I bid the two cable TV heroes farewell. My needs are met for the most part; I can watch TV in bed. Part of me, however, will be permanently scarred. The people at Direct TV (we won't even justify their existence with a link) have ruined my life. Kind of. Well, not really, but they've made it way more difficult than it needs to be...

Back in Business!
The Angry Fist has been in hiatus since June. The author felt the need to devote writing time to mental detour. In order to meet this need, and keep The Angry Fist fresh, all posts by H.S. Chenault that appear on mental detour will also be visible on this blog. The format will change slightly for obvious reasons, but Fist Fans can rejoice nonetheless knowing that the world's most popular blog is back.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Pointing out Why America Can't Balance a Budget goes to...
The Defense Department, for wasting a confirmed 100 million dollars on air fare. According to the Congressional General Accounting Office, at least this much money was spent on unused airplane tickets. Accompanying this report are allegations of fraud. It seems that Defense Department employees accepted reimbursements for plane tickets that the government purchased in the first place. For you Defense Department employees and White House officials out there, that means that taxpayers paid for those tickets twice. To break out an old cliche, there's a war on! That war is a damn expensive one too! The Angry Fist hopes that taxpayers consider this wasted money as part of the already outrageously expensive overseas efforts when they go to vote this November. So, U.S. Defense Department, for mishandling a task as simple as keeping track of employee air travel, to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Misunderstanding the Word "Voluntary" goes to...
The United States Army and its "Stop-Loss" program. The Army seeks to disregard previously promised retirement and release dates for service men and women in units set to deploy to Afghanistan and Iraq within 90 days. This program puts America one step closer to a military draft. Basically, the government is saying "We don't have to obey contracts or soldiers' rights or anything to which we previously agreed. Once you sign up, we own your ass until we feel like letting it go." So, United States Army, for taking advantage of your already too oppressive grip on the lives of your selfless volunteers, to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Today's Angry Fist for Failing to Temper Religious Fanaticism with Common Sense goes to...
Neil Noesen, a pharmacist at the K-Mart in Menomonie, Wisconsin, and Karen Brauer, president of Pharmacists for Life. Apparently these pharmacists, and many others, feel it is their right to refuse to sell birth control to customers because they (the pharmacists) are opposed to birth control for religious reasons. The Angry Fist respects the rights of religious fanatics to oppose giving women the right to choose; the fanatics are entitled to their opinions no matter how flawed they may be. The Angry Fist even supports the rights of these pharmacists to frown with disapproval at the women purchasing birth control. But customers are paying for a product, and pharmacists are being paid to provide that product. Refusing to hand out birth control because of religious beliefs makes about as much sense as a vegetarian working at McDonalds refusing to provide burgers to the customers. Those McDonalds vegetarians wouldn't have their "rights" protected by a national organization, they would be out on their asses looking for new jobs. So, pious pharmacists across the nation, for confusing an expression of religious beliefs with failing to do the job your paid to do, to you I raise The Angry Fist.
The Angry Fist is battling back, with a promise to the loyal readers to never neglect the needs met by this blog ever again...

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Feeding a Growing Problem goes to...
Everyone who tuned in to the "pre" season finale of American Idol tonight. Music fans in America, and around the World, suffer from exploding CD prices, the RIAA's fight against music piracy, and the recent upswing in the price of music downloads from services such as Napster and i Tunes. Music costs so much because the individuals in charge of the major record labels spend a huge chunk of their money promoting and distributing garbage. The quality of popular music is at an alltime low, and to compensate fans are paying 20 bucks a pop for a couple of "hit" singles and a whole lot of filler. Most of what passes as quality music isn't even original songs. American Idol is to blame for some of this, appointing god-like stature to high quality karoke singers. The American public has not caught on, either. The producers of reality shows such as American Idol know they can put any piece of tripe on the air and millions will tune in, call in, and support the products advertised. The word "Reality" for TV is to our culture what the little bell was to Pavlov's dogs. So, American Idol viewers, for starting a chain reaction that continues to lower the standards of what passes for "pop culture," to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Photographic Stupidity goes to...
Spc. Charles Graner and Spc. Sabrina Harmon of the 372nd Military Police Unit in Iraq. The first lesson on the first day of boot camp should be to inform recruits that you should never, ever pose for a photo while giving the "thumbs up" over a corpse. This lesson should be emphasized with the instruction that this should especially be avoided if the corpse is that of a prisoner in your care. Now, to The Angry Fist, this seems like common sense, but it also seems common sense to avoid torturing people, and furthermore to avoid posing for pictures with those you've tortured. But that's just The Angry Fist, an entity with no military training whatsoever. For all The Angry Fist knows, photogenic murder and torture may be an integral part of America's military training program. So, Spc. Charles Graner and Spc. Sabrina Harmon of the 372nd Military Police Unit, for making the term "poor judgment" a monstrous under statement, to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Coming Back to Bite you in the Ass goes to...
Whoever started the email forward for "Stick it to 'em Day" or whatever today was supposed to be. The ideas was that no one in America was to buy gasoline today. The Angry Fist likes the idea; The Angry Fist likes any idea that attacks arrogant members of "Big Business" in America. The Angry Fist also supports any idea that causes turmoil in this country as our current President tries to fool the citizens into believing he is doing a good job. People, however, need gas. People need to go to work and school. If a national boycott of gasoline occurred today, then you can be certain that gas stations will post record sales tomorrow. That compounds the problem, lining the pockets of "Big Oil" with not only the money of those who were going to buy gas tomorrow anyway, but also with the cash that everyone withheld today as part of the boycott. Also, who really believes that anything can completely unite everyone in this country, anyway? Even in the wake of National disasters there are citizens who think the victims got what was coming to them. So, "Stick it to 'Em Day" creators, for spreading naivete on a national level, to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for the Worst Time for Best Intentions goes to...
The state of Massachusetts and all of the gay/lesbian couples who are now enjoying their perfectly reasonable right to marry. The Angry Fist hates to do this; The Fist supports equal marriage rights for all and passionately loathes those who feel that gay and lesbian marriage is wrong. But this positive breakthrough could not have come at a worse time! This action in Massachusetts is only going to create problems for anyone with political common sense (hint, hint, the sensible masses who want Bush out of office). This issue is already big enough. Today's action is only going to push right-wing religious nuts into further action, adding support to the President. Undecided homophobes are now going to become enraged enough to swing their votes to our current homophobic President. Senator Kerry is going to endure further criticism for failing to take a firm stand on the issue. And last but not least, this will open up continuous opportunities over the next several days for bigoted loudmouths to spew forth ignorant rants while being interviewed by local TV news reporters. So, Massachusetts and newly married homosexuals, for inadvertently doing political harm while doing something incredibly good for the nation, to you I VERY RELUCTANTLY raise The Angry Fist.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Hazardous Arrogance goes to...
"Big Oil" of America. You purposely keep prices high. You disregard the American public and its needs. You exploit your unholy alliance with our current President (coincidentally one of your own alums). The Angry Fist hopes that your current stunt and the inflated prices Americans will experience in the coming weeks start a deadly chain reaction. Drivers will stay off the roads. Potential buyers will stop considering gas-guzzling SUV's, perhaps even trading in their current beasts for small, fuel efficient cars. Or better yet, drivers will once again turn their backs on American car companies for imports. The backlash this creates will be felt at all levels, hopefully turning political. "Big Oil" will pull their heads out of their drums or be destroyed. The resulting trauma will ruin the political legacy of a certain President, and all will be well with the world. So, "Big Oil" of America, for taking advantage of America when it needs your compassion the most, to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Sneering Snobbishly in the Face of the 26th Amendment goes to...
All of the conservative leaning polling place regulators and voting registrars who are trying to help G.W. Bush steal another election. In recent surveys, college-aged citizens favor Senator John Kerry over our current President by, on average, between 10 and 20 points. So it comes to no surprise that polling place officials around the nation are sabotaging the voting efforts of these individuals. Our nation's courts have, time after time, upheld the right of college students to vote where they reside most of the year: in their colleges' towns. These sneaking Bush supporters are attempting to silence them by threatening huge fines and jail terms for voter fraud, claiming that these students must vote only in the districts in which their parents reside. Often times these criminals use bully tactics to scare young patriots away from voter registration sites, or they withhold the students' voter status until it is much too late to file for an absentee ballot. These actions bare a striking resemblance to the poll taxes and literacy tests enacted by bigots of the past to attempt to silence the African-American vote. So, devious voting officials, for stabbing democracy in the back and attempting to further the Bush Monarchy, to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Sneering Snobbishly in the Face of the 26th Amendment goes to...
All of the conservative leaning polling place regulators and voting registrars who are trying to help G.W. Bush steal another election. In recent surveys, college-aged citizens favor Senator John Kerry over our current President by, on average, between 10 and 20 points. So it comes to no surprise that polling place officials around the nation are sabotaging the voting efforts of these individuals. Our nation's courts have, time after time, upheld the right of college students to vote where they reside most of the year: in their colleges' towns. These sneaking Bush supporters are attempting to silence them by threatening huge fines and jail terms for voter fraud, claiming that these students must vote only in the districts in which their parents reside. Often times these criminals use bully tactics to scare young patriots away from voter registration sites, or they withhold the students' voter status until it is much too late to file for an absentee ballot. These actions bare a striking resemblance to the poll taxes and literacy tests enacted by bigots of the past to attempt to silence the African-American vote. So, devious voting officials, for stabbing democracy in the back and attempting to further the Bush Monarchy, to you I raise The Angry Fist.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Today's Angry Fist Award for Reversing Evolution and Spitting on Progress goes to...
The City Council of Zephyrhills, Florida. These tobacca' chawin', cousin lovin', Nascar chasin', confederate flag wavin' dinosaurs, in an apparent effort to appease their equally underdeveloped "kinfolk," voted to change the name of Martin Luther King Avenue back to its original name of Sixth Avenue. Martin Luther King Avenue resident Ben Youmans even went so far as to say, "I don't consider Martin Luther King to be an icon or a hero to be looked up to." What is more insulting is the fact that the city council feels that paying token homage by leaving the MLK Avenue street signs up is a sufficient solution. This incident is just further proof that when the south attempted to secede from the Union, we should have let them go. So city council of Zephyrhills, Florida, for taking action that any educated person would find abhorrent and treating it like "just another day at the office," to you I raise The Angry Fist.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?